i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
