i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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