i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
