His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
