And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
