I must be too annoying 4 u.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
