Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
