I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
