this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
