apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
don't judge my taste in strippers
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
