I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
