I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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