The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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