So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
