Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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