Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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