What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
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