In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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