doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
