SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
