I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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