No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
