A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Randomize
