it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
