Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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