real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
