I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
