Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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