Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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