Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
