I think I am morally bankrupt
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
