why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
