OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
