You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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