Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
