1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
