ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
