Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
