I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
