Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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