guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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