I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
