Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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