thus making me awesome and them whores
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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