jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
