i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
