nut hugger
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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