I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
