the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
