Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
