Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have aggressive nipples.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
