Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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