Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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