How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
